"Jesus wept" John 11:35 

 

 “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. Psalm 30:5

 

I recently finished the most wonderful book, “Theo of Golden”. There are so many heart-warming moments in this book, lessons to learn, and much to think about. One of the most insightful moments comes in a brief, but meaningful discussion of sadness. 

 

The author, Allen Levi, through his main character, Theo, who is an admirer of portraits, comes to the belief that sadness is the “universal affliction and exists in every face”. Of course, there is beauty, gladness, playfulness and a million other qualities coexisting in everyone’s face, as well, and all these qualities exist in an elegant tapestry of each face making each one single and unique. 

 

Sadness can be one of those negative emotions that many of us try to hide, but like the author, I wonder, if it isn’t easier to accept it than to try to pretend it isn’t there. The author goes further to wonder “if, on this side of heaven, can either one be complete without the other?” While he contends that there is no virtue in advertising one’s sadness, there is also no wisdom in denying it.  Then, he contends that beautiful possibilities and opportunities can grow out of sadness, even great love. We can wallow in our sadness until we become bitter, or, we can learn from it and allow those lessons to make us wise. We can treat it as a gift and allow God to work his magic through us. 

 

There is, as the main character, Theo, tells us, a deep longing buried inside all of us. I think we can all acknowledge this fact, if we are honest with ourselves. Maybe, we should invite ourselves to be alone, quiet and truthful in acknowledging this longing, and thus, discover the goodness in our sadness. I believe this is God’s desire for us. Even Jesus wept (John 11:35).  In Psalm 30:5, we are told, “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. This tells us we are meant to acknowledge our sadness, but not let it take over our souls. This too will pass, and then we can better acknowledge our joyfulness when it returns in the morning. 

 

All emotions have value. They all exist in symmetry to one another. Only by recognizing and honoring them all can we be honest and true to who we are. Aren’t we all happy to comfort someone who is sad, or help someone going through a difficult time? Don’t our hearts feel full when we do? Only by letting others see us and relate to us in our hard times, can we let ourselves be helped, but also let God shine through to us by the attentions of another. It also gives someone the gift of being a God-light to us, and helps them shine brighter.

 

I think a lot about the so-called negative emotions. They need and deserve their expression as well, and are just as valuable, sometimes more so than the so-called “good emotions”. Through them, we learn and grow so much and thus evolve into the people we are meant to become. And really, all emotions are just beautiful and shimmering threads in our tapestry of life. Think about sadness as an example. There are many reasons for sadness, whether it be that deep longing Theo speaks of, whether it be an unrealized dream for our life, or the loss of a beloved one who meant so much to us. Aren’t we at the heart of our sadness, sad for a beautiful reason? In loss, for instance, we are sad because we have loved, and been loved so deeply; to love like this, with our entire being, is a blessing. 



I know I have spent too much of my life trying to be perfect, and believing myself a failure when I haven’t been. With older age comes wisdom, however, and we learn Christ is the only perfect one among us. The rest of us are here to learn and grow. That means mistakes. Haven’t we all learned the most through our mistakes? The truth is, we will be better and truer to ourselves and more honest and open to others if we value the “dark sides” in ourselves and each other, giving them a safe space in our hearts. Aren’t we most accepted when others love us “warts and all”, as the expression goes? Don’t we really feel seen and loved when someone knows all of us? This is the gift we need to give to ourselves and each other. Only by opening that door can we let the light shine in.